Nightmares
by Castianamicheals
Summary: While on a date, Mike sees someone from his past. This is a slash story. Warning: Triggers for child sexual abuse. Rated M for safety reasons and because I still can't figure out the rating system.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: All the usual disclaimers. Warning: Triggers for child sexual abuse._

_Also, reviews are love. _

Nightmares

Chapter 1.

"Mike, you okay?" Harvey asked, taking in his associate's pale face and dull blue eyes. Mike had stopped moving as soon as they had entered the building. He was looking in someone's direction when he had stopped and so, Harvey followed his line of vision and all he saw was some middle-aged man wearing a suit that looked cheaper than Mike's with a wide garish polyester tie that clashed horribly with his shirt.

Mike didn't answer the question, he just started to shake. "Mike!" Harvey said sharply, trying to get the younger man's attention focused on something other than what was going on in his head. When Mike's breathing started to speed up, Harvey grabbed his arm and dragged him outside the building.

"Come on, baby, talk to me." Harvey said in a low, almost pleading, tone. His anxious brown eyes raking over the other lawyer. And when he still got no response, Harvey turned Mike's face towards him and pulled him into a loving embrace. "Tell me what's going on in that busy brain of yours." He demanded softly. His hand went up to gently cup the side of Mike's face, hoping that the more he touches him the closer he will be to being back.

But Mike was too caught up in the recollections of the man that had abused and almost raped him when he was newly orphaned. When he started whimpering, Harvey flagged down a cab and they went home. Mike was securely wrapped in his lover's arms, even if he appeared to be unaware of it. By the time they got home, Mike was in the middle of a full-fledged panic attack and Harvey was doing his best to help him calm down just a little.

He pulled Mike's hand to his chest so that the younger man could feel the warmth of his skin through the shirt and the steady beat of Harvey's heart.

"Come on, Puppy. Breathe with me." Harvey cajoled (something he didn't normally do, thank you very much). When he looked directly into Mike's eyes again, the dull blue was starting to lighten up as he followed Harvey's instructions. Once Mike was breathing normally again, Harvey pulled him close and dropped a kiss on the top of his head.

"You wanna talk about what happened back at the restaurant?" He asked, positioning the younger man so that he could see his eyes.

"No. Not really. But I will. Maybe if I tell you about it, then I won't get the dreams tonight."Mike responded quietly, wanting nothing more than to bury himself in Harvey's warm and sheltering arms. He started shaking again at the prospect of talking about what happened all those years ago. His lover and boss tightens his arms around him and he finds himself sitting on his lap, facing him. Mike closes his eyes and takes several breaths before he starts.

"You know how I told you about my parents and going to live with Grammy, right?" Mike says, looking briefly into Harvey's chocolate brown eyes before picking some spot on the wall just behind his head. Harvey nods.

"Well, before that, they had to put me temporarily in the foster system until she could find an appropriate place for us to live and get everything together for it to be a _suitable_ (he sneered that word) place to raise a child. So, I was fostered out to what looked like a good family. And, don't get me wrong, the family was good, but, the husband's brother was also staying with them at the time. His name was Frank Beihn. He was a corporate accountant, he made good money and I had no idea why a guy like was still living with his brother. With the money that I figured that he was making, he could have afforded to have his own place and better suits. I mean, I know that according to you I wear cheap suits, but at least I try to go for the poly-blends. This guy went for the cheap seventies polyester suits that even I wouldn't be caught dead in." He takes a slight shuddering breath and places his head on Harvey's right shoulder and the older lawyer starts to rub his back, because he has an idea that what's coming up isn't going to be pleasant for either of them. Mike just wraps his legs around Harvey's waist and snuggles closer before continuing his story.

"Like I said, the husband and wife were nice and they treated us right, but Frank (and here he shudders a little in remembered fear), Frank was an asshole. Always wanting to touch us and always wanting us to touch him. At first, I didn't say anything because, hey, temporary living arrangement right? But, and I didn't know this at the time, but one of Frank's _friends _(this was said somewhat bitterly) was in charge of the CPS department and Frank had asked that I be kept with the Beihns' for as long legally possible. Fortunately, I still had to go to school and since I was still in the same district, I didn't have to change schools. Which is good because, despite how Trevor screwed me over in the last 4 years, at the time he was a good friend and he was the one who insisted that I tell someone what was going on with Frank. God, sometimes I really _hate_ the way my brain is wired. Anyway, the first day, Frank didn't do anything to me. He just watched me like a shark. I found it to be extremely creepy, especially the way he would smile at me." Mike shudders again and lets out a small whimper before he takes a deep cleansing breath and continues.

"At the time, I was the Beihns' only foster child and, like I said, they were really nice. They made sure that I had all my favorite foods and drinks and I honestly believe that they had no idea what Frank was up to. The second day was when he _accidentally _touched my ass. It was a fleeting touch and I would've thought that I had imagined it if I'd had a normal brain. That's when it started in earnest. He started touching my hair, complementing me on how quickly and accurately I did my homework, making sure I had my after school snack. Small things like that. It wasn't until the end of the first week that he made me do anything overt to him. It was a Friday night, the Beihns were off on a date and Frank was babysitting me. We were sitting the couch watching a movie when he placed my hand over his crotch and he rubbed up against it." Tears started sliding down his face and soaking into Harvey's shirt. His eyes were still closed as he remembered the smell of the gin on Frank's breath as the man had moaned in pleasure.

"I tried to pull my hand away, but he wouldn't let go. I ended up with a really spectacular bruise the next day as a result. At the time I didn't really understand what was happening and, other than the fact that he wouldn't let go of my hand, he didn't really hurt me. So, I put what happened out of my mind as much as I could at the time and forgot that it had happened. I didn't mention it to my foster parents. Not because he said not to, because he didn't really say anything one way or the other, but because it hadn't seemed important enough. I guess he took that as permission to do it again. The next day, he took me to the zoo while the Beihns went to the local orphanage because they were looking to adopt a couple of kids. They knew they only had me on a temporary basis and they really wanted a couple of kids of their own. Again, I don't blame them for not noticing what was going on because Frank was really careful about what he was doing. The subway was really crowded, so I had to either stand, and risk getting separated from Frank, or I could sit on his lap. So, I chose to sit on his lap. At the time all I really wanted to do was stay home and wallow in my grief, but I wasn't allowed to and I wasn't going to make a fuss about it. I thought that if I did than I would be abandoned again and I didn't really want that. Child logic at work. So, there we were, on the subway making our way to the zoo and I guess the movement felt good to him because, although no one really noticed except me, he started grinding against my ass and he was kissing my neck and the place where my neck and shoulder meet. And, before you ask, no you never have and never will remind me of him or what he did to me. Like I said, I had dealt with it to the point where it wasn't going to affect my adult relationships. Trevor had helped me to do that. A few minutes later, I felt wetness soak into my jeans and underwear. My mind had wandered into a favorite book so that I could safely ignore what was happening to me. I knew that if I didn't offer any kind of protest, he wouldn't hurt me. So, I just ignored it and hoped that it wouldn't happen again. I should have known better. It happened again on the way back, only that time, I had fallen asleep on the train." Mike took shuddering breath, eyes still closed. Harvey stroked his hair comfortingly and his other hand was still stroking Mike's back soothingly. The tears had stopped.

"It was later that night and I was in my room the next time I woke up. Frank was there in dark, just watching me sleep."

_'That explains his need for a light sometimes.'_ Harvey thought.

"I screamed because he had scared me. When the Beihns heard me scream, they came rushing into the room to find out what happened. Frank had snapped a light on and he came over, sat on the bed and started comforting me. When they saw Frank there, they relaxed a little. I told them that I'd had a nightmare. While I was telling them this, Frank's hand slipped down and started to caress me there. I was still a few years from my first wet dream and so I didn't respond physically. Not that Frank minded. After that night, every chance he had, he tried to touch me there. Especially when I left the bathroom in nothing more than a towel wrapped around my waist. I learned quickly to get dressed in the bathroom if I didn't want to see him bring himself off in my bedroom doorway while I got dressed."

_'How could that married couple NOT notice something like that happening in their house?' _Harvey thought.

"When I told Trevor about that, he said that I should tell them about what Frank was doing with me. I nodded, agreed with Trevor and resolved to tell them about it when they got home from work that day. Except, when I got home from school, there was a note on the fridge with some money. Anyway, to make a long, difficult story a little shorter, I didn't tell them about it that night. I did tell them over breakfast the next day. I fully excepted them to not believe me, but, when they heard what he doing and making me do, they got so _pissed_. And I thought for sure that they would blame me, so when they left me alone in the kitchen I was surprised. When I heard them yell at Frank to get his shit out of their house, I was happy because it meant that they believed me and they were taking my side without even questioning it. In the end, Frank ended up going to the hospital and I was showered with apologies for ever leaving me alone with him. When Frank was released from the hospital, I was back with Grammy and the Beihns had put a restraining order on Frank for the safety of the kids that they were in the process of adopting." Mike drew a shuddering breath and opened his eyes.

"So, what happened with them? It sounds like they were decent people." Harvey looked into Mike's eyes, glad that the dullness was completely gone and they were back to their normal sky blue.

Mike gave a small sad smile. "They were on a vacation trip to some tropical paradise with the kids when their plane went down in a storm the year I started at Harvard. It was a serious shock when I saw him tonight and all those memories came flooding back. Thank you for getting me out of there."

"No problem. You thirsty?" Harvey asked gently. Mike nodded, climbed off of his lap and headed to the bathroom. Harvey then stood up, stretched and got his young lover a glass of juice. "Hey, what do you want eat?" He hollered, as he heard the water run in the bathroom.

"Depends on what time it is." Mike replied, padding back into the room. He accepted the glass of juice and drank it down.

"Well, we still have that reservation at the restaurant. I just pushed it back a couple of hours." Harvey explained, watching Mike carefully.

Mike shrugged and said "Sure. That sounds good."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Normally, after mind-blowing sex, Mike would drop right off into sleep, but tonight, he just snuggled up to Harvey and stared at the ceiling. He tried to sleep, but his mind was just too active. He thought about what had happened and realized that he had made peace with it a long time ago. He also thought about the life that he's leading now. He smiled contentedly as he acknowledged the fact that he is happy in a way that he hasn't been in a long time. The last time he felt this happy and content his parents were still alive. He smiled and finally fell asleep.

* * *

Harvey was just finishing in the bathroom when he Mike whimper a little in distress. The fact that Mike occasionally got nightmares was nothing new to Harvey, but it still bothered him. Mike's nightmares got so bad sometimes that it would take hours for him settle down enough to sleep fitfully for however much time was left before their alarms went off in the morning.

When he got into their room, Mike was thrashing his head on his pillow and it made Harvey's heart ache at the sight of his obvious distress. He could already guess which memory was tormenting him.

"No! No! HARVEY! NO! Don't leave me!" Mike muttered, sounding desperate and heartbroken tears coursing down his sleeping face, soaking his pillow.

_'That's new.'_ Harvey thought, his heart leaping into his throat. He quickly climbed into the bed and grabbed his distressed lover.

"I'm right here, puppy." Harvey said with quiet reassurance. He settled himself against the headboard and tried to wake Mike up. As he was getting the love of his life settled against his chest, he tried to pull Mike out of the nightmare by waking him up.

"Mike, wake up." He said anxiously, shaking him a little. "Come on, babe, wake up."

Unfortunately it didn't work. Mike was still trapped in whatever horrible dream that his subconscious had cooked up.

"Mike!"

Still no response.

"MICHAEL!"

Mike woke with a jerk. "Harvey?" He asked tearfully.

"I'm right here, Puppy." Harvey said soothingly. One arm wrapped around the younger man's waist and the other running soothingly up and down his back. "I'm right here."

Mike wrapped his arms around Harvey's chest and bawled. The nightmare that he had, had really shaken both of them. It was the first time that Mike had ever had a really bad nightmare involving Harvey.

Harvey rubbed his face in Mike's hair, inhaling the fragrance of Mike's shampoo, conditioner and the unique scent that was Mike.

"You want to talk about it?" Harvey asked quietly, after Mike had calmed down. He felt his lover stiffen slightly at the question.

"No. Not really." Mike responded, pulling away a little so that he could look into his lover's warm, brown eyes. "And I'm not going to."

"Okay. Then I won't make you, but," And here, Harvey grinned devilishly and kissed him ardently. Mike deepened the kiss and felt blood rush to his groin. Both of them groaned in frustration when Mike's alarm went off a minute later.

_tbc_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Over the course of the next three days, the two men really didn't spend any time together outside of the office due to a big case that involved the whole firm. Even Jessica was seen leaving late and more than one associate was found sleeping at their desk. So after the pressure let up and the firm won, Harvey took Mike out to their favorite (expensive) restaurant to celebrate the win.

They were in the car on the way to the restaurant and Harvey was carefully watching his young lover and noted that he looked like shit. Like he hadn't slept in weeks rather than just grabbing a few hours here and there during the last three days. 'Of course, I don't look exactly look like the poster child for restful sleep either.'

He watched as Mike closed his eyes and leaned against him, a small tired smile ghosting across Mike's mouth.

They were about half-way to the restaurant, Mike sleeping against his shoulder. 'How the hell did I get so lucky?' Harvey thought, a soft, indulgent smile gracing his lips as he gently caressed Mike's lightly stubbled jaw. He leaned carefully forward. "Just take us home, Ray." He said quietly.

"Sure thing, boss." The driver replied equally quiet as he continued driving.

They were half-way home when Ray abruptly slammed on the brakes, pitching all three of them painfully into their seatbelts. They heard a muffled crunch from in front of them. Harvey and Ray gave small grunts as they were pinned in place by the seatbelts. Mike, however, had a different reaction. His blue eyes popped open, wide and unfocused in his terror; his breath coming in ragged gasps.

Ray looked into the back through the rear view mirror. "Are you two alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Harvey replied calmly. "You okay?"

Ray just nodded his head and asked "Is Mike okay?"

Harvey didn't respond to the question, but he turned to face Mike. "Mike, you okay?" He asked, his brown eyes searching the other man for any possible injury. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw no obvious sign of physical damage.

"Mike?" Harvey asked somewhat hesitantly.

"Harvey?" Mike asked dazedly.

"Yeah, Puppy. I'm right here." Harvey replied gently.

"Am I dreaming? This feels like a dream." Mike murmured. Confusion flitted across his face.

"No, Baby, this isn't a dream. This is real." Harvey said gently. He reached over and turned Mike's face towards him.

"No," Mike said, as he shook his head. "No. This is a dream. This _has _to be a dream." He murmured, looking away from Harvey's face. "We were in an accident and I saw….." He choked as tears fell silently. "I saw your head go through the window from the impact."

"No, Pup. What you _saw_ was the nightmare. _This_ is real." Harvey said firmly.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Standing beside Harvey, Mike suddenly felt his stomach lurch and his head spin. He felt dizzy, his chest felt tight and his breath started to hitch.

Harvey, noticing Mike heading towards a bad panic attack, placed one hand Mike's chest, grabbed one of Mike's hands and placed it on his chest.

"Mike," He said looking intently into his lover's slightly glassy baby blues and, once he made sure he had the other man's full attention "I need you to breathe with me, okay?" And then Harvey took a slow, exaggerated deep breath and slowly let it out.

"C'mon, Baby, breathe with me." He encouraged calmly. Again, breathing deep and slow. It took a good ten minutes for Mike to finally get his breathing under control. By that time, the emergency vehicles had shown up.

"What do you say we go home now?" Harvey asked, raising his hand and gently ran his knuckles down the side of Mike's face. Mike closed his eyes briefly and nodded.

Once they got home, without any further interruption, Harvey led Mike into their bedroom. Mike, still feeling a little fragile, didn't object. Harvey gently undressed Mike. Once they were both naked, Harvey laid Mike down on the bed and started kissing him gently, starting with his forehead and, by the time he had reached the bottom of Mike's ribs, Mike was starting to moan in pleasure and impatience. Harvey held his hips down to keep him from thrusting up, as he kissed the inside of Mike's thigh, carefully avoiding Mike's leaking erection. He kissed down to Mike's ankle and then started up the other leg. When he reached Mike's hard, leaking manhood, he gave it a careful lick from root to tip, delighting in both the taste and Mike's reaction and continued up.

"God, Harvey, please!" Mike moaned, desperate in his need.

Harvey smirked, ignoring his own erection for the time being.

"Please what, Puppy?" his voice hoarse with his own need. He looked into Mike's blue eyes, darkened with lust and love.

Mike looked into Harvey's equally dark eyes. "Please, I need you in me. To know that this is real and not a dream."

Harvey groaned and reached for the tube that they kept on the nightstand. He carefully prepared Mike, much to the other man's consternation, before slowly sliding in to the hot, tight silkiness. They both moaned in pleasure when Harvey bottomed out, his hardness bumping up against Mike's prostate. He held still, allowing Mike time to adjust. Which didn't take long. And, despite his own desire to take Mike hard and fast, he went slow and careful. Bringing them both to a sweet, tender climax. When the afterglow faded a bit, Harvey cleaned them up and pulled Mike into his arms as they both fell asleep, blissed out on their love for each other.


End file.
